W@nk Hard

A Die Hard rip-off solo TTRPG where the hero is a compulsive wanker.

Xmas Eve. You've arrived at the Wankatomi Tower in L.A. hoping to reconcile with your estranged wife at her firm's party. While jerking off in a restroom, the Tower is seized by terrorists who take everyone else hostage and start breaking into the vault...

You're a tough N.Y.P.D. cop. Stop them. Rescue the hostages.

Your biggest challenge? The fact you're a compulsive, serial wanker.

Immature but fun. But please don't play W@nk Hard expecting the game content to mirror the film!

Requires three six-sided dice (3d6), pencil and paper, and (optional) tissues.

For optimal play, think OUT LOUD to yourself when making decisions, rolling, journalling etc - especially if you're in a public space and people can hear you.

Created for the One-Page RPG Jam 2026.

CONTENT WARNING: Solo sex references.

*W@nk: jerk off, jack off, toss off, whack off, frig, masturbate etc etc.